Hashimoto’s Hell– Why Doctors Should Have to Live a Week in My Shoes #thyroid #patientadvocacy

I’ve talked a little on here about the fact that I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Since January 10, 2015, I have been living with severe pain on the left side of my thyroid. After wrangling between different doctors, I finally got referred to a surgeon. I waited weeks for this appointment. Every day, my big thought was, “I only have to wait a bit longer and the pain will stop.”

Sadly, that was not the case.

Today, for the appointment, I was met by the PA, not the surgeon. She proceeded to tell me that my pain has nothing to do with my thyroid because my thyroid looks almost normal. (She did finally admit that I have scarring and dense tissue–which I already knew. As well as 19 small nodules, but who is counting.)

Pain is not normal. In any way shape or form. Plus, I already had a study that specifically related severe thyroid pain caused by Hashimoto’s to only being cured by thyroid removal.

When I mentioned the study, she adopted what I will call a “hoity-toity” attitude.

She is not the one in pain, dammit.

Well, I left the office with a test for espohageal function (Yet another doctor who swears all my issues are caused by Gastric Reflux because I am fat. If that were the case, I would be overjoyed. But, it is not. I have done it all before. Gastric Reflux medication does nothing for my symptoms. In fact, it gives me a whole other new set of problems where I have to sit close to the bathroom all day.) And, I have to go to my GP (or PCP for you newbies) for x-rays of my neck because “You could have twinged your neck because of your previous whiplash.”

My whiplash was in 1994. The pain I am experiencing is in the front of my throat- where the left lobe of my thyroid is I might add. It is also on the outside of my neck. Not inside my throat. So, it would be pretty darn amazing for gastric reflux to cause discomfort where acid could not reach.

So, I am in pain, pissed off, and hoping I don’t end up with stage 4 thyroid cancer by the time they stop messing around with me. And, yes, that has happened. A lady I know from a Hashimoto’s group. It took her 15 years to get a doctor to pay attention to her. Her thyroid always showed up as “normal” on ultrasounds. Her levels were normal on medication. And, yet, she had swelling and a feeling of fullness (which is what prompted her to go to a doctor in the first place) for ten years. Then, on the eleventh year, she started experiencing pain in her thyroid. Doctors brushed her off like they are doing with me. When she finally developed a goiter that was big enough for them to pay attention, she already had stage 4 thyroid cancer.

Don’t let this me you. I, for one, plan on bombarding the surgeon’s office with studies and other materials in the hopes that someone actually reads it and educates themselves.

Changes and other ramblings

Well, a few things are going on. Firstly, the really really good news. Constructing Marcus, Dancing with a Dead Horse, The Devil’s Liege, and a new novella collection containing Love Me to Death are all going into paperback. So, within the next few months, you should be able to put them on your physical bookshelf.

Onto the not as good news. The publisher that has Sorrow’s Point and Sorrow’s Edge is closing its doors. So, starting March 31, 2015, they will no longer be available. But, the good news is that I already have a good possibility on getting them republished quickly. So, there will be more news on that as well. Jimmy Holiday will continue!

My final bit of rambling is that I finally got to see the director’s cut of Nightbreed. A lot of things were cut out of the original film. Some of the things were unnecessary- like a cheesy song sequence from Boone’s girlfriend where she performed at a club. But, other things were simply fabulous. And, of course, I loved seeing Shuna Sassi in her glory again. Gotta love the porcupine woman. She’s amazing.


Writing Outside of your Comfort Zone #amwriting #asmsg

My current project, Maw, happens to be a science fiction story. While sci fi and horror have a lot of things in common, they are also very different. Mostly, because of world building.

Now, I am not a stranger to world building by any means, the Mathias Saga is a big indication of that. But, there is something about writing a science fiction world set into the future that is troublesome to me. Why? Technology.

Think about that for a moment.

How fast does technology move now? Ten years ago we didn’t even have smart phones unless you could the Blackberry and it differs greatly from what we have today. That’s just a damn phone.

So, I find myself having to walk a strange line. And, also, doing research to see what has already been developed so I don’t screw up and say that something that I think is nifty for a world set about fifty years from now isn’t around right now.

Wish me luck. I need it. :)

Stuff and the amazing crap that it is.

Mostly, these days, I am juggling getting rid of the holiday decorations for the year and working on my new book. Right now, I plan to have the rough draft done by the end of January. It’s kind of a combination between several of my favorite movies. Specifically, The Warriors (which I have talked about on here before), Lifeforce, and Event Horizon. So, expect blood, space vampires, and street gangs. Mwahahahaha.


Documentary Filmmakers should do their Homework #horror #torture

In a forum I belong to, a member mentioned watching a documentary that claims that the rise of torture porn in current media is linked to the post-9/11 cultural movement and the Iraq war. The documentary also claims that because we are now bombarded by real-life violence all the time and because the sense of safety as white middle class Americans was shattered by 9/11, we are hungry for more intense and graphic violence.

I wholeheartedly disagree. The filmmakers obviously completely ignored the history of intense violence and torture in horror films.

2000-maniacsI would say that it probably started with Two Thousand Maniacs! in 1964. In case you’ve never seen the film, it is about a ghost town that waits for unknowing travelers in order to torture them to death with various insane carnival-esque games in order to maintain their immortality.

LastHousePosterFilmmakers upped the ante from there. In 1972, we were given Wes Craven’s brutal image, Last House on the Left. Which was actually a modern retelling of the intense film, The Virgin Spring. In Craven’s tale, the father gets revenge on his daughter’s attackers with a variety of items- including a chainsaw.

I must also mention the “grindhouse” movement which contained many of these banned films. And, I’m not talking about Tarantino and Rodriguez’s film fest. The old grindhouse films were usually poorly acted, but were brutal.

grave11978 brought us I Spit on your Grave. The original film is still banned in many countries because of it’s horrific 30 minute gang-rape scene. In an odd sort of way, it could be considered an empowering film because the victim does torture all of her attackers to death. Most intense is probably when she separates one attacker from his penis.

The end of the movement probably came with Cannibal Holocaust (1980). This is probably just about the most difficult film to watch in terms of torture. This film is so intense that it has been rumored to be a snuff film for years. Not for the faint of heart. There are multiple grotesque scenes. Nothing about the movie is easy to watch. I recommend watching it only if you are a serious horror fanatic.Cannibal_Holocaust_movie

So, this documentary really needed to read and watch a few movies. Hostel (2005), which is one of the most cited examples of “Torture Porn” has nothing on Cannibal Holocaust. And, everyone can agree that there was much less violence on television in the 1970’s, so the splatter movement did not begin with post 9/11 fear. It is simply the recycling of a genre.